Surreal Life 2

Hey Jenny Slater suggested a sporting Surreal Life 2, and Doug solicited suggested alternatives… since I really only follow college football and UK soccer, I decided to go with the following format: I'm going for the soccer and hotties mix. This involves 3 soccer players with incomprehensible accents (to American ears) and three female Olympic hotties, to be placed in a house with a decent sized pool and hot-tub. The idea is that the soccer players will either be catatonic from drink, or beat the shit out of one another, leaving the hotties with time on their hands and a large cellar of wine etc. to work through… So, the line-up is:

1) Eric Cantona. Now too fat to appeal to the hotties, but still able to re-create his two-footed flying kick as delivered to a racist fan. Would have to pried out of his lucrative Joga Bonita gig though.

2) Duncan "Disorderly" Ferguson. The only player, so far as I know, to be jailed for an on-field assault. On two separate occasions has assaulted individuals who were attempting to rob his house, hospitalizing at least one of them. Out of contract, thus available.

3) Vinnie Jones. The only player of the last 10 years more monosyllabic than Duncan Ferguson. Much much more frightening.

4) Natalie Coughlin, US Olympic Swimmer. Yum.

5) Marianne Timmer, Dutch speed skater. Those thighs…

6) Chemmy Alcott, English downhill skier.

and the grizzled old person to oversee: Sir Alex Ferguson, because someone needs to get the booze in, and he has a splendid line of invective.

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2 Responses

  1. Man, I completely forgot one great footballer for my list:

    Gazza!

  2. Dammit, that’s genius. Not sure how I missed him. Duncan Ferguson is out.

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