Stand Up If You Hate The Swiss

In stark contrast to Bono-narrated commercials lauding the one-world beauty of the World Cup, this glorious event is truly about intolerance. A quick glance at my brother's support criteria can attest to this fact. Now is the exact time in our lives to dwell on negative history, to engage in some healthy cultural sterotypes and to relish making fun of dodgy Eastern European haircuts. Frankly, now is my time to shine.

That said, I hate the Swiss. The only team more boring than Norway (whose absence is greatly appreciated), they actually feature as the groan of a 1st round group featuring Togo and South Korea.

Today, in what was by all accounts a dire 0-0 snoozer with France, the Swiss took up valuable space on my DVR, knocking off a couple of Thornbirds installments from its memory. (Now, I will never know if Ralph de Bricassart became Pope.)

The Swiss have provided two advances to the world of Football – 1)The Swiss Bolt – the precursor to cateneccio (whereby the center half drops behind the fullbacks and bores everyone to death) and 2) Young Boys FC (completed a full season as them on FIFA 2002 – it was dire)

A multicultural country that could provide the best of its German, Italian and French influences does not. A multicultural country that could provide the worst of these same influences does not. The Swiss just refuse to be interesting. Today hammered that point home.

So on that note, I am off to watch Brazil v. Croatia and play a new game called, "Will Anyone in the Office Actually Notice I'm Gone."

Thanks extended to my brother for inviting me to post. He will only be sorry.

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6 Responses

  1. Well they are a dreadful bunch of Nazi-gold-hoarding gnomes with an unhealthy interest in being able to close every tunnel to the rest of Europe, while regulating how you may pee in the night. With the exception of the lovely Swiss people I meet at events thrown by our friends S & A, who are German and Swiss respectively.

  2. You guys are too much Quick wit and to the point. You are providing much needed insight to the soccer challenged at least as far as Europe is concerned.

  3. My favorite game! See if no one notices I’m working!

    Great updates, guys!

  4. Errr… NOT working

  5. Actually Peter, unfortunately I DO spend most of my days playing “see if someone notices I’m working.”

  6. Se agradece la info, vamos argentina carajo para el mundial de futbol en sudafrica 2010 !

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