The Deciduous Conspiracy

Was indeed working…on a lunch break, so here you go…

Rhett Bomar’s dismissal is nothing more than the indication that the fix is in.  With it has come much discussion as to how Oklahoma are out of BCS contention; how their season is effectively ruined.  Some look at these reports and see reasoned evaluations of Oklahoma’s prospects, others look and see journalists engaging in some pre-season hyperbole, my take though more conspiratorial is based strictly in the stark reality of what is real.  As a warning, I’m getting real here.  So if you can’t handle me being real, stop reading.  Just being real.  Really.

The position of college football illuminati has transformed into the following – Oregon are now the test for Oklahoma as opposed to the other way around. 

Were the Sooners to lose, it will not be because of Oregon’s fully gelled (hope springs eternal) spread offense, but because Rhett Bomar decided to pay tribute to Kurt Russell and Jack Warden. (Needless reference to 1980’s Used Cars that falls flat on its face due to lack of proper context).  Consequently, minimal rankings boost for a hard fought victory. 

Were Oregon to lose to the Sooners, then Oklahoma pass their first test and Oregon’s hopes of being ranked take a severe (an potentially unrecoverable) hit that the Ducks don’t need in a tough season.

My point?!?!?  It’s all part of the conspiracy against the (true) state of evergreen luvin.  Whenever there is a chance to negate the achievements or potential of Northwest sports (which I would label as heavily derided, but that would actually necessitate coverage and consideration), it is taken.

(note – exception is University of Washington, a team with a lot of past success, but they come from the bowels of Hell, steeped in the bile of dead baby kittens, ergo – not a Northwest team)

Essentially, there is a room, somewhere on the East Coast decorated with faux Autumn leaves, where a smokey and shadowy backdrop of Fat Cats watches as Lee Corso rolls around naked but for a Seminole Headdress while Beano Cook throws down Art Linkletter Dollars from the game of Life.  It is in this room of Autumnal Prejudice that the powers, whomever the Carlyle Group of College Football may actually be, make the decisions that devalue any achievement Oregon will make for this season.  Regadrless of results – I call the Insight Bowl.

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