Hopeless EPL Predictions (Part 1)

As usual for me, all will be proven wrong within the first week…

Arsenal – not champions.  With quality up and down the pitch Arsenal have a delightful midfield that includes the likes of Hleb, Rosicky, Fabregas, and Ljunberg.  What they do not have, despite the best efforts of Gilberto Silva, is the mettle in the midfield that they have not had since Viera left.  The lynchpin is a pivotal part of the English game as witnessed by the dramatic difference in Tottenham pre Davids and Tottenham with Davids.  Prediction – 2nd place

Aston Villa – if Randy Lerner can succeed in buying Villa, then he will likely allow them to flourish like the Cleveland Browns…*cough*cough*…Martin O’Neill means stability and a likely return to the Premiership for Neil Lennon.  Goody.  Prediction – Mid Table Irrelavence, let’s say 11th place???

Blackburn – They lost an odious but talented player in Craig Bellamy and are set to lose a similar player in defender Lucas Neill.  They have secured Ryan Nelson (who is VASTLY underrated by anyone not from Blackburn or New Zealand) and have signed underachieving Jason Roberts and Benny McCarthy.  They still have, however, Brett Emerton, Brad Friedel, and Tugay – enough to keep them afloat for sure.  Prediction – 13th place

Bolton – Zzzzzzzz…. Prediction – 12th place, whatever.

Charlton – I like Iain Dowie.  He had Palace playing some very entertaining football in the Premiership a couple seasons ago that left me so impressed, I was actually moderately despondant when they were relegated.  His management, plus Hasselbaink and Darren Bent will give them a good early boost, followed by a winter slump with an end of season push. Prediction – 8th place.

Chelsea – Mourinho focuses on Europe, where he will again fail.  He will fail for the following reason – English success has been gained by part tactical accument (playing formations that suit your players – how continental!), part motivation, and, honestly, by amassing ridiculous talent. European failure is due to the fact that all other top European teams do this too.  When facing top European opposition, Mourinho reverts to Cup minnow mentality, throws 10 behind the ball and plays an almost desperate counter-attack.  The English campaign will suffer just enough.  Prediction – 3rd

Everton – Sometimes good, sometimes bad, Everton will pull it together this season.  Featuring a sturdy line-up with Tim Cahill on the wings and Andy Johnson up front and some good breaks and you are looking at a Cup contender  Prediciton – top half, maybe 6th, with an improbable cup run.

Fulham – Time has run out and everything will just go wrong, no matter how hard they try.  Prediction – 19th.

Liverpool – My greatest fault is the prediction that follows…it is really just a matter of time and I think time is finally on Liverpools side.  I think a European minded Chelsea, a silky but gutless Arsenal midfield and a Man United without a solid center forward is enough for a well rounded team to succeed. Liverpool are there. The addition of Craig Bellamy is huge; dogged and unlikeable, he is everything Liverpool need in a forward. Jermaine Pennant is another quality addition as his house arrest anklet clearly strenghthened his leg for making successful crosses. Though admittedly a lazy analogy, Mohamed Sissoko is the heir apparent to Viera. Kewell, Gerrard, Riise…Seriously.  Prediction – Champions.  Seriously

Man City – Slowly returning to being a top flight fixture, City will defy any prediction I make and probably figure out a way to get relegated to the Conference in one season. Prediction – 10th


2 Responses

  1. Kudos to you for having the stones to pick anyone other than Chel$ea.

    I hope you are right, even if it is The Pool instead of the Arse who win it.

  2. He just does it to irritate me, because 1) he knows I have an irrational dislike of Liverpool, and 2) I suspect he can find the pictures of me, aged about 4, in a replica Liverpool kit.

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