Barton is a ….

I’m not bold enough to put it in the headline, but occasional book reviewer Joey Barton is a complete cunt. The various assaults, usually on people who were not expecting it or not able to resist, reached their pinnacle with his jumping Ousmane Dabo and administerring a beating that left Dabo with eye damage inter alia – and then he ran off to Portugal for a golfing trip, the action of a real villain I don’t doubt.

I sincerely hope that Barton is prosecuted and sent off for some time in the hoosegow over this. In the meantime rumour has it that Everton and Sunderland plan to bid on Barton on his release from Manchester City. Presumably Moyes has Duncan “Disorderly” Ferguson on retainer to demonstrate on Barton what a real hard man looks like. Keane, in the meantime, can probably just put a picture of his “tackle” on Alf Inge Haaland over Barton’s locker, and that should do the trick.

Incidentally, Michael Ball did his best to fill in for Barton during the Manchester derby, but all he was able to manage was a stamp on Cristiano Ronaldo. So he’s just a twat.

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3 Responses

  1. A complete and utter cunt.

    Of course, if that is a little blue for your comfort level you can always go with:

    an utter and complete twat.

    Both words fascinate me, because I read and hear them so much in Brit culture- how differently they are used and how different the level of taboo is around both words. All the time I find myself wanting to call someone a cunt in the Brit sense of the word but I hold off because it will likely be perceived as the Estados Unidos sense of the word, which is used much less frequently and is close to beyond the pale taboo.

    What the hell am I doing explaining this to a Scotsman? Jesus, that is like explaining ice to an Eskimo. It’s official: I need to get my arse to bed.

  2. Funny, I was just having the same conversation with myself the other day – I’ve never been one to use “cunt” in the American idiom, which would be logical since I’ve been here so long. I use it in the British idiom, but not very often.

    There’s the broader question that life-long feminist Frau DC Trojan would raise about why female genitalia are the source of a derisive name; I think the question should be reversed: why am I slandering lady-bits by associating them with an arse like Joey Barton?

  3. Good point with your last questions. Maybe Leeds United can make him an honorary member of their Uber Thug Life squads of ’99-’02. He’d fit right in with those cunts Bowyer, Alan Smith, et al.

    And don’t forget to remind Frau DCT that there is no shortage of derisive names for male genitalia- dick, cock, prick, etc. So we’re in compliance with Title IX there.

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