Your 2007 National Champions, the Florida Gators!

Cross-posted from Conquest Chronicles…

Well, we learned one thing above all tonight, CheatyPants McSweatervest plainly runs a clean program after all — because no dirty program gets beaten like that. Like what? Like red-headed step-children, like Notre Dame in any bowl of recent memory, beaten almost as bad as Oklahoma in 2004 2005.

PWN3D! (Charles Krupa, AP)

I don’t like tOSU at all, not least because of the Michigan-based in-laws… I have to give them something back for the last 2 Rose Bowl beatings, it’s only fair.

So when I saw Ginn run back the opening kick-off for a touchdown, and the Pac-10 officials miss a splendid hold, I was not best pleased.

However, two amazing things came to pass — and bizarrely, Chris Leak was one of them:

You can apologize later, if your mouth’s free… (Ross Franklin, AP)

The other site to behold was Florida’s defense absolutely running amok on tOSU — Troy Smith started out a bit flat and got flattened. There was one play — I think it was 2nd & 15 at about 10 minutes in the 4th quarter — where Smith was just levelled by Florida player Ray MacDonald because no Buckeye had taken the time to block someone running straight at their QB on the fucking blind side! Frau DC Trojan, no fan of the Buckeyes, had wandered into the living room and was appalled for young Mr. Smith, which underlines the overall suckitude of the tOSU O-line.

At this point, even I was starting to feel sorry for Smith because the combination of O-line ineptitude and the Heisman curse was proving to be too much, and he’d already been spitting turf a few times…

I’m in your backfield, sacking yoor doodz!1!! (Stephen Dunn, Getty Images)

Any way that you slice it, Florida had it all over the Buckeyes, in coaching and execution. Frankly, I don’t know that it would have made much difference if Ginn hadn’t been injured; I suspect Reggie Nelson would have got to him eventually.

My remaining thoughts on the game:

• Troy Smith didn’t resort to putting towels on his head, he remained engaged with his team-mates, and he was quick to congratulate Leak. A classy response to a bad situation.
• However, it took an embarassingly long time before the tOSU defense learned that trying to intimidate the Gators by dirty play wasn’t going to work. Like, 2 short field possessions and 2 touchdowns long. Plainly the obviously clever Anthony Gonzalez doesn’t have a brainiac equivalent on the defensive side of the ball. But it might not just be native wit, mind you, this is the same team culture which showed up in 2003 when they couldn’t have been more obviously trying to cripple Braylon Edwards…
• Can we all agree now that zone defenses don’t really work well for the Big 10 in bowl games?
• Not content with nearly blowing Ian Johnson’s proposal post-Fiesta Bowl, Chris Myer’s attempted to ambush Reggie F Nelson with a post-game question about his mother, who died December 21, 2006 of breast cancer. Can we all agree that a big FUCK YOU is in order here? That’s not cool, Myers, people are animals too, so have a goddamn heart.

Papadakis’ Revenge

[Note: cross-posted at Conquest Chronicles]

I am sure that I am one of the few people east of Rockies, perhaps anywhere, that actually enjoys the genuinely amateur commentating work done by Petros Papadakis and Barry Tompkins. Seriously, I don’t need yet another broadcast full of portentous windbaggery about football, dressed up as professional judgment worthy of Mount Olympus. Papadakis and Tompkins are amateur in the best sense of not taking themselves overly seriously.

Or so I thought. But it has become clear, thanks to the Los Angeles Times, that Papadakis has a darker motivation for his commentary style:

In the fall of 1998, the former USC tailback was determined to fulfill a dream by scoring against the Irish. Even better, he knew that the venerable Keith Jackson would be in the broadcast booth.

“I desperately wanted him to say my name on television,” Papadakis recalled.

The game stayed close into the third quarter as the Trojans drove to the two-yard line — perfect for a back who specialized in short-yardage situations. This was his big chance.

Except the coaches decided Carson Palmer should run a quarterback bootleg, leaving Papadakis the thankless task of faking a dive play into the line.

“I basically got destroyed,” he said. “Got the wind knocked out of me. I’m on the ground half-dead. Carson walks in for the winning touchdown.”

Still, Papadakis had one more shot at glory. Watching a tape of the game, he hoped Jackson might have praised his dramatic plunge. And, as he recalls, the announcer did. Sort of.

“Chad Morton with a great fake!”

Yes, friends, Petros Papadakis is not actually trying to be funny, he is projecting his pain about his moment in the sunshine to others. He doesn’t need our condemnation, he needs our sympathy and help, especially from the current team. Beating the Irish on Saturday would be a good place to start.

why watching Man U is good

Actually posted some time watching footie today, in the form of the last 30 minutes of the Manchester United – Reading game. Many people hate ManU, though not perhaps as many as did now that they have Chelsea to dislike, but I’ve always drawn great pleasure from watching games that they are in.

Here’s why: as a neutral for the most part, I’ve always enjoyed watching ManU in seasons past where they would put opponents to the sword. Turning a late loss into a sudden win has many adrenalin benefits to say nothing of the schadenfreude element (e.g., the Champions League final in ’99, the closest thing I’ve ever seen in soccer to the ’05 USC – ND game…) Also, I know how much the English psyche is offended by teams that insist in succeeding and in being see to do so, far worse yet when lead by a former Clydside Socialist who’s joined in the ca-spittle-ist class.

But, it’s hard not to savour the joy when someone beats ManU or gets an unexpected result… there was some league game with Chelsea in 99 or 00 where they spanked ManU 5-0, or even today’s draw with Reading… because there’s always something satisfying about watching the opposition get some real joy in a win, and when you see an arse like Cristian Ronaldo (great player but…) pouting off the pitch, well so much the better.

two more cents

as to the oregon state-boise state game, let me open with a ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha…

let me follow with a hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

and conclude with…well you get the point.

key issue from the game – matt moore seriously blows.  when a back up with a dodgy knee makes you look pedestrian, you are not likely getting earmarked by any CFL scouts.

i missed large chunks of this game as i was working late and bereft of motivation to hustle back home to watch the corvallis community college cletus spucklers.  no disrespect to boise state who have snuggled firmly into the 2nd team role over the past three seasons, but to quote one sgt. murtaugh, ‘i’m getting too old for this sh*t!”  not really, i just wanted to work a danny glover quote in.

i will close by saying, if you ever find yourself in boise during the season, stop by the stadium – nice fans and there are a series of bars right across the street that have tailgate events.  plus, they totally out-hick oregon and oregon state fans, which is saying something.  (hunting orange trumps green hunting camo)

ASU amok, SC Offense teh sukorz?

Dirk Koetter obviously decided to get a head-start on choking by selecting Keller as starting QB on seniority, and then Carpenter on the basis of talent / player revolt / better hair day / whatever. I appreciated that sometimes it’s a good idea to admit a mistake, but perhaps waiting or giving Keller a chance to botch it might have been a little less sad. This way it looks indecisive rather than ruthless but fair.

As for the SC offense, botched snaps under simulated crowd noise and only improving results against the scout team defense don’t paint an encouraging picture. I shall be interested to see how they pick up the pace over the next couple of weeks. Arkansas may not be a top 5 team, but they won’t be total patsies either.

OOOOOOOklahoma where they just lost all their passing game…

Since Thistle71 must be tied up doing some actual work, I thought that I would point out that Oregon’s schedule must surely have got a little easier since Bob Stoops threw Rhett Bomar off the team. Apparently getting caught with near-beer from the honk-n-holler wasn’t enough for Bomar and he had to find a more complete way to completely bollocks-up the Sooners’ season in 2006.

I’d spend more time on mockery but some things are better left to the professionals…

elephant

Q: "What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it?"

A: "Nothing, it just gave a little wine."

Sanchez case rumors

According to LA Daily News writer Scott Wolf's Inside USC blog, there's a possibility that Sanchez is building a case against the sexual assault charges. 

normal service resumes (or, another FA balls-up)

I'd have mentioned it earlier, but I've been too busy chuckling to mention much about the wholesale demise of Big Phil Scolari as the heir apparent for the England manager job.